As I ponder..

As I laid in bed wide awake last night, I pondered all the possible things I wanted to talk about here. I have so many things to offer. I think first and foremost, living with a child with a disability has been a life altering experience (not in a bad way) for our entire family. We saw symptoms slowly come on around age 2 and before I knew it, chasing Chloe's diagnosis became something that consumed my entire being. If I like listening to Adele, Chasing Pavements. Yes, I'm aware it's a love song..but I love all of my children like nothing I have ever loved before.

"Even if it leads nowhere?" -

Brings me to realize that so many days there was no direction. , I couldn't imagine not fighting.

"If I tell the world, I'll never say enough," -

I have become a huge advocate and voice for Autism and Aspergers syndrome . Not everyone cares to hear what I have to say, or even share in my passion for that matter. I'm going to continue to talk about it anyhow. :)

"I'd build myself up,
And fly around in circles,
Wait then as my heart drops,
and my back begins to tingle
finally could this be it" -

I remember the day I got the call. We had finally been approved for testing. I had fought at local and state levels for 3 years to get the doctors to agree and get the finances to go through. I remember driving the 2 hours to KU Med Center when Kegan was 3 days old for some of the most important tests of Chloe's life. The appointment was made 3 months in advance (that's how long it took us to get in) and we had no clue if we would have a baby in our arms or not. God must have known, because he delivered Kegan just in time!

"Should I give up, Or should I just keep chasing pavements?" -

As much as we had looked forward to the KU appointment, it was not very informative. Chloe was put through pokes, prods, physicals, neurological exams, EKG, EEG, CT, MRI..You name it she had it done. After all of the testing, the doctor came to one conclusion, Chloe was very advance for her age. All her milestones were shockingly early and her IQ was far more advanced then children even 2 and 3 years older then her. We were sent home with a contact number and off to the next doctor we went. I NEVER GAVE UP. Even when Will and I had disagreed about continuing when all had seemed to fail.

I never quit my journey.

After years of research and physicians, therapists, med doctors, and other peoples opinions, we found Dr. Kinlin. She listened to every little detail and had patients to let me read from my 500 pages of notes I had taken over time. She gathered all the details we had shared and began to work with Chloe. After 6 months, it was perfectly clear. Everything I had been "chasing" finally was diagnosed. Our daughter has Aspergers Syndrome. A form of Autism that is not really known about.

I took on the task to learn every single detail I possibly could for it. I attended law classes to assure I had every insight I would need to put her future first. We fought our school district every step of the way to obtain an IEP. (The law classes really backed up my statements on that one!)

I currently support and work with 2 - 10 families at a time. Educate, inform and guide them in the avenues available to them. I have done panels for screening case workers whom are looking to hire into the field. Putting them on the "hot seat" per say, making them understand fully that taking a job with a child in these shoes is not something you can just quit. It takes passion and heart to take on children with these issue. Yes, a few of them got up and quit before they even started.

I spent 6 solid years of my life fighting to figure out what exactly what was wrong with my daughter. In those 6 years I had 2 other children. Kegan came out with breathing issues and he was in the hospital and ER more often then not. I would say every wrinkle I have, came from what I like to call the "Hard 5." Giving birth to Baylee was our fresh of breath air. God put this healthy little being in our family because He knew we were ready for something to lighten our day. Boy has she ever. Her humor has always lifted us in the worst of times.

Chloe turns 11 less then a month from now. Her IQ is functioning at a high school level in most everything. Except math, she is only at an 8th grade level. She has been able to reduce her medications by less than half of what she was taking. She is growing into a gorgeous young lady and is starting to toss around college ideas for her future. When Chloe was 5, we were told her case was so severe she might not ever be able to leave the family home as an adult and that we needed to brace ourselves for a mental hospital, or keeping her with us for the rest of her life. With out great family support, and amazing panel of doctors, therapist, case management, parent support and attendant care workers, Chloe is moving mountains and proving herself more and more everyday. I am so proud of my daughter. I can't wait to see what career she chooses for her future and I pray that she shares the same passion and drive that I do in whatever she does.

Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If i knew my place should i leave it there?
Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere