Spring Break Insanity

I must say I did not realize how much I relied on my computer until my trip to Kansas last week Friday! I went back home to visit my parents and pick up the kids for spring break. Needless to say I was running a marathon from the moment I got off work Thursday.. I forgot my laptop and couldn't blog at all...so I am sorry from the start, this is going to be a book :)

Thursday evening:

Bake, cover in fondant and hand paint my mama's birthday cake. Went to sleep at 2:30am.

Friday:

Get up for work 4am (not much sleep) Work until 9ish, fly home, wake Will up for school, pack our things, head to Kegan's school and pull him early, went to Platt to pick up yet another cake (Will made one for my mom too) Get gas in the Eclipse, and head out.

Arrive in Newton at 3pm- Go straight to my Grandma & Grandpa Flores' house for my first visit in months. It was so refreshing to see them and stop in and sit down for a spell. It was great because my cousin Traci and her little girl Rylie came to see us too!!

By now we are pushing 6pm and mom called to let me know Chloe's staples were removed from her head and we could head to dinner early for her Birthday. Now I get even more family time! Whoot! Whoot! So hugs to my grandparents and off to La Cabana the little ones and I went!

How wonderful it was to walk in and see my Mama, Pop's, Sister and gorgeous daughter sitting at the table..I miss them so much every single day. We enjoyed drinks and dinner, then went to Robyn & Tony's to have cake and sing Happy Birthday to my mom. What great memories we made. ( I will blog later about moms first birthday without Shannon)

Now it's time to head to the farm (In case you are lost--it's still Friday :] ) Trying to get everyone rounded up and ready for bed, assuring that Chloe is packed and ready to go for Spring Break. Gracie & Tyler arrive a little after 10pm and now I can FINALLY lay down and get some much needed rest...That would have been nice in the event I could have actually slept..

Saturday:

6:00am It's time to wake up and have coffee with Mama. We watched the sun rise, it was a beautiful sight over the pond (I miss being there all the time..It's really the small things that count)

7:00am it's time to get the kids up, bathed, dressed and ready to go. Baylee and Kegan got picked up by Aunt Whitney at 7:30am and headed to KC to spend the week with cousin Dwight and Grandma Kathy. Chloe, Gracie and I headed to Wichita to pick up Eion from his Grandma Dana. We were supposed to be there at 8:30am and I arrived at 8:50...I was feeling pretty far behind at this point, with my Monster Energy in hand, we still were able to get on the road to Tulsa to 9:15!

Only allowing the kids to stop once for a break, we drove straight through and made it home at 12:15pm. I pretty much threw them out of the car with their luggage ran inside got dressed and made it to work by 12:45.

Work was pretty busy considering it was the last weekend of our fishing classic. I was super excited to see Will and the kids came in for a visit!! I walked around with them and notice my fatigue level was setting in and I was looking pale, but after what I had done in the last few days..I felt okay about pushing on... So I thought...

Around 7pm I got a radio call and came down the double staircase to respond and felt something I would never like to feel again. Sharp pains hit my chest, my left arm went numb and started to tingle, my ears felt like they were in a tunnel and I was going down for the count. In panic, I called Will, told him to drop the kids off at the house and meet me at St John. I am an idiot and was so worried about response time due to my brothers recent death, that I drove myself there. I barely made it to the ED doors and as I was checking in, the pains hit even worse..That was it- I was in critical condition. I have never had so many people in and out of a room working on me at the same time. With in seconds I was in a gown, had an IV and monitors hooked up. Lab came in for gallon after gallon of blood it seemed. I was scared to death knowing that my 2 babies were all the way in KC, my family in Kansas and Will rushing to get there leaving the middle kids behind at home. My brothers death kept flashing before me. Was this it? Is this really all the life I have in me? Hell No It Wasn't. I was determined to fight. When Will finally arrived, they were setting me up for my EKG. Everything came back okay. I was fine for the most part. I have plenty of follow up appointments I will be doing and some remaining unexplainable chest pains that worry me a lot. We got home from the hospital after midnight and I tucked myself into bed that night counting my every blessing. God gave me a warning to slow down that night...a warning I will never forget and always listen too.. Anxiety is something that comes with stress. It's time to lower my stress levels in a major way! Even though it was an hour later then my scheduled time.. I picked myself up and went to work and completed my entire shift. Being a manager sets a standard and I swear to you, the next person that calls in with the sniffles is going to have a pretty darn hard time convincing me that they can't make it!!

We continued on with a fabulous week of shopping, dining and play with the big kids. Got Gracie her prom dress and Eion to eat some great new foods! Chloe learned to do her hair in new ways. All in all it was a wonderful week.. I took it easy and just relaxed in every way I could.

My kids and my husband are my entire life. We watched one of our best friends get married this last weekend. There are only a few of our friends left to be married off and whether that be a year from now or 5 years from now, I look forward to the journey this life (however many years are left) has to offer everyone in our group. I am very lucky for the true friends I have and the memories we have all made.

As I ponder..

As I laid in bed wide awake last night, I pondered all the possible things I wanted to talk about here. I have so many things to offer. I think first and foremost, living with a child with a disability has been a life altering experience (not in a bad way) for our entire family. We saw symptoms slowly come on around age 2 and before I knew it, chasing Chloe's diagnosis became something that consumed my entire being. If I like listening to Adele, Chasing Pavements. Yes, I'm aware it's a love song..but I love all of my children like nothing I have ever loved before.

"Even if it leads nowhere?" -

Brings me to realize that so many days there was no direction. , I couldn't imagine not fighting.

"If I tell the world, I'll never say enough," -

I have become a huge advocate and voice for Autism and Aspergers syndrome . Not everyone cares to hear what I have to say, or even share in my passion for that matter. I'm going to continue to talk about it anyhow. :)

"I'd build myself up,
And fly around in circles,
Wait then as my heart drops,
and my back begins to tingle
finally could this be it" -

I remember the day I got the call. We had finally been approved for testing. I had fought at local and state levels for 3 years to get the doctors to agree and get the finances to go through. I remember driving the 2 hours to KU Med Center when Kegan was 3 days old for some of the most important tests of Chloe's life. The appointment was made 3 months in advance (that's how long it took us to get in) and we had no clue if we would have a baby in our arms or not. God must have known, because he delivered Kegan just in time!

"Should I give up, Or should I just keep chasing pavements?" -

As much as we had looked forward to the KU appointment, it was not very informative. Chloe was put through pokes, prods, physicals, neurological exams, EKG, EEG, CT, MRI..You name it she had it done. After all of the testing, the doctor came to one conclusion, Chloe was very advance for her age. All her milestones were shockingly early and her IQ was far more advanced then children even 2 and 3 years older then her. We were sent home with a contact number and off to the next doctor we went. I NEVER GAVE UP. Even when Will and I had disagreed about continuing when all had seemed to fail.

I never quit my journey.

After years of research and physicians, therapists, med doctors, and other peoples opinions, we found Dr. Kinlin. She listened to every little detail and had patients to let me read from my 500 pages of notes I had taken over time. She gathered all the details we had shared and began to work with Chloe. After 6 months, it was perfectly clear. Everything I had been "chasing" finally was diagnosed. Our daughter has Aspergers Syndrome. A form of Autism that is not really known about.

I took on the task to learn every single detail I possibly could for it. I attended law classes to assure I had every insight I would need to put her future first. We fought our school district every step of the way to obtain an IEP. (The law classes really backed up my statements on that one!)

I currently support and work with 2 - 10 families at a time. Educate, inform and guide them in the avenues available to them. I have done panels for screening case workers whom are looking to hire into the field. Putting them on the "hot seat" per say, making them understand fully that taking a job with a child in these shoes is not something you can just quit. It takes passion and heart to take on children with these issue. Yes, a few of them got up and quit before they even started.

I spent 6 solid years of my life fighting to figure out what exactly what was wrong with my daughter. In those 6 years I had 2 other children. Kegan came out with breathing issues and he was in the hospital and ER more often then not. I would say every wrinkle I have, came from what I like to call the "Hard 5." Giving birth to Baylee was our fresh of breath air. God put this healthy little being in our family because He knew we were ready for something to lighten our day. Boy has she ever. Her humor has always lifted us in the worst of times.

Chloe turns 11 less then a month from now. Her IQ is functioning at a high school level in most everything. Except math, she is only at an 8th grade level. She has been able to reduce her medications by less than half of what she was taking. She is growing into a gorgeous young lady and is starting to toss around college ideas for her future. When Chloe was 5, we were told her case was so severe she might not ever be able to leave the family home as an adult and that we needed to brace ourselves for a mental hospital, or keeping her with us for the rest of her life. With out great family support, and amazing panel of doctors, therapist, case management, parent support and attendant care workers, Chloe is moving mountains and proving herself more and more everyday. I am so proud of my daughter. I can't wait to see what career she chooses for her future and I pray that she shares the same passion and drive that I do in whatever she does.

Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If i knew my place should i leave it there?
Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere

Let it Begin::

I must say, I am hopelessly addicted to Megan's Blog. I always love clicking on her link to see what the boys (including Nick) have done lately, that will bring a smile to my face. I have known Megan and Nick for a little over 15 years now. WOW That just aged us all a tad! :) Megan has always been the most giving and creative person I have ever met. She leads her life with such passion. I know my blog will never come close to being as awesome as hers. But I do look forward to using it as a tool to share memories with our family and friends now that we live out of state.

I will do my best to keep us on this! Somebody remind me in the event I have sluffed off! If I can be on Facebook for long periods of time, surely I can find time to Blog too!