2 years doesn't seem so long, but when you look at it in days, 745 of them to be exact, you realize just how much time has passed by. Never not once did we ever think we would live anywhere other then the comfort of our little quiet town of Goessel in the house we made our home. Life seemed to be a bed of roses. Will had a great job at Learjet. We seemed to have everything we had ever hoped for and had started planning our future with our house and children.
But, as we all know- Life can change in the blink of an eye, and did it ever. The economy hit the bucket in a hurry and we were left facing a major layoff. Will felt such relief when the first round had gone through and it had missed him. The topic of conversations were nothing but "what ifs" though. What if he did get laid off? What would happen to us, would we move for more work in aviation or would we stay on unemployment until the economy came back around? We decided not to stress on it and remain thankful for the blessings we already had in our lives. As Will always says, "This too shall pass."
Unfortunately, it did not pass. a few weeks after he missed being laid off, he was given his walking papers and a final date of employment with the company that he, his father, grandfather, uncles and cousins held so dear. The McCauley's have a long line of history in that company and the older generation is starting to retire this year, 2011. We were in shock, but knew that with God on our side, we would be fine. And we were.
Not long after he was handed the notice, he got an offer with Spirit Aerosystems in Tulsa, Oklahoma. A place that seemed so far away from home at the time. It was a contract job, a temporary position. 3-6 months seemed like a good short term plan until we could figure something else out and was way better then unemployment. We talked about the kids and I staying behind since the move was only temporary. So that was the decision we landed on.
Great friends kept the kids for us, and we loaded up a few things in the van and car and made the loooong drive to Oklahoma. The drive down was fun. We enjoyed the sites and seeing green country for the first time sure was beautiful! We embraced every moment knowing that in 1 short day I would be driving back to pick up our babies alone. I must say that was the longest drive back to Kansas. I cried and cried. I thought to myself so many things. How was I going to get everything done in the house. It was all on me now. Every little thing that needed to be done, I had to do. In the same, I was worried about him being all alone in a strange place with no one to hug everyday. No one to touch. It was going to suck for the both of us in so many ways.
Not long after he was gone, we had pipes burst under the house and I found myself calling our police chief Joe to come and rescue me. Only.. he didn't rescue me... he showed up in full uniform and took pictures of me crawling around in mud under the house to try and find shut off valves for pipes. It was him, who made me realize the power of a woman! I didn't need a man to survive my husband being gone! At that moment I felt such empowerment and I got it all taken care of! I knew I was going to be okay! And I was.
The days and nights grew very lonely for all of us. The kids went through a log of changes and emotions. They had a major lack of understanding as to why. Many people assumed that Will and I had split ways, but that couldn't be further from the truth. What they didn't realize is what a long haul we would really be in for.
We took many weekends drives to Oklahoma and Will vise versa. We took advantage of every second we had as a family. There were many bumps along the way. But we made the most of everything handed to us. I continued doing daycare and became reliant on my friends to keep me sane and am so thankful that I had my adopted daughter Gracie right next door to help with the kids. (I will mention the rest of you all later in this)
What was supposed to be a spring/summer thing, ended up turning into fall and winter and back into spring again. We had approached a year of living apart for work. The discussion of a permanent move had come up many a times, but I was so set in my ways in Goessel and it was impossible to imagine leaving our home, friends and family.
Chloe had left in October of 2009 to live with Grandma Kathy in KC. The daddy change had been to much for her Aspergers Syndrom to handle. It was the hardest thing I ever did when she moved, but I knew if was for her healing and own good. Kathy did such a wonderful job supporting the choices our family had made along the way. My parents were still so unsure of the lifestyle we had chosen, but we knew in the end it would all make sense.
Birthdays came and holidays went. Traveling became a routine event and it didn't seem so far anymore. One weekend I would drive to Tulsa, another to KC and then the 3rd weekend to Wichita to get Eion. Sometimes I would hit Wichita, KC & Tulsa all in one day so we could get everyone picked up to go see daddy. Our children became (still are) traveling pros! We learned to have so much fun on the long highway drives. The Windmill Game, was by far, the most favorite. TO the point, I had memorized the location of every single one so the kids couldn't fib if they had seen one or not :)
Will and I remained strong. We knew eventually Learjet would call back. EVENTUALLY
but they never did. To stay in Tulsa working or to come back home was the choice at hand. In December 2009 the contract at Spirit came due. The job was done. But how could we walk away from a steady contract job in which had already offered Will a full time position as a direct hire. We couldn't. The responsible side of adulthood told us to keep on track and so Will hired in full time. Not long after that he went to 2nd shift and became a lead.
2010 was to become another year of travel for the both of us and many sleepless nights. Our bakery business had really started to blossom and bloom. I was becoming more and more busy everyday. Realizing that my skill would no longer carry me alone, we came upon another tough choice for our family. Will had brought up going to college during his stay in Tulsa. He kept going back and forth with it. Finally it took me telling him that I supported him no matter what and until he made up his mind yes or no, not to call back. Yes, it seemed harsh, but I know my hubby and sometimes he needs a swift kick to make a choice. (I think we all do at times) So at the beginning of June, Will called me back on a Thursday to say he had met with the college. AND THAT HE STARTED THE FOLLOWING MONDAY! Holy Cow! The college was able to get all of his papers in order and sure enough it was really happening! I went to Tulsa to celebrate. We stayed over until Monday so we could see him get all dressed up in his new gear and kissed him good luck as he walked out the door to head to class. He was finally following his true dream and I couldn't be happier for him.
On the drive home, I do believe is when reality really hit for me. He JUST started college. This was not like starting a new job that he could get a transfer. This was putting him glued to a city so far from family and home for an even longer time frame and here I was driving away from him. Ugggh heart dropped, but this was what we had chosen. I can't complain. Only support.
As time went by, I watch him get up for school at 7:15am and go until 3:00pm M-F and as soon as he got off there, he had to rush back home, change and be at Spirit by 3:45pm until sometimes 2:45am. He was running on literally zero to chase his dream. His eyes were tired (he kept me up to date with phone pics) and it was wearing on him. At night I would help him do his homework via webcam. I watched him from 4 hours away in real time get better and better. I watch through pictures what he was learning and achieving. I watched him go to school at 8am and work until midnight, hop in his car and drive home every other weekend dead tired not arriving home to us until 4:30am. He would crash for an entire day after doing that, but he continued to do it. He never gave up, he just kept pushing on.
It didn't take long for me to see the light. I am not kidding you when I say I went from "I refuse to move" to "we are moving in 4 weeks." Will came home for the 4th of July weekend. We had a spectacular holiday at my sister and brother in laws house with friends and family. It was our goodbye party and we didn't even know it yet!
I called Will on the 5th of July and told him that I was ready to move. I was more ready then I had ever been. He told me I was insane crazy and talking jibberish. He really didn't believe me I don't think...that is until I called him with 4 houses for him to go look at the next Saturday. Before you knew it I had called on houses and had driven to Tulsa numerous times to look at houses. Just when I was ready to give up hope, God sent us Mark Egan. Mark is a leasing agent in Tulsa, but the house we had called on was for a lady he was helping to rent her house out. The more I talked to him, the more we learned about each other. Come to find out he grew up in Towanda, Kansas and we even knew some of the same people. We found that we carried a lot of the same beliefs and small town values. He said well let me see what I can do and I will give you a call back...
WE GOT OUR HOUSE! Mark called back and said, you know- I am recently divorced. I live in a 5 bedroom, 2 bath, 2 story house and I would love for you to come and look at it. You guys sound like my kind of people, and I would be willing to move out of my personal family home for your family. Oh My Goodness! You have got to be kidding me. The next day I was on my way to Tulsa to go take a look. WOW Welcome home McCauley family!! Let the move begin!
What Will didn't realize is that 4th of July trip would be his last weekend ever in the house we had spent so much time remodeling and working on. Little did he know, his life was about to take a drastic turn yet again. He had spent 17 months of solid loneliness and NOW, Now he would have everything he could ever ask for... so he thought. It was very emotional for him to not help pack our life into the back of that UHAUL truck, to not help load it and cry as it pulled away from our house. For a long time he struggled with not having proper closure on our Kansas life. I think we both did. The move was so abrupt and sudden that I maybe had not thought things out as clearly as I perhaps should have.
Chloe was not that thrilled about the move. You see, when she went to KC for the school year, I had made the promise that she could attend Goessel for the '10/11' school year no matter what. And here I was packing our entire life into boxes and she was watching that promise slip away. So with the blessing and support of my parents, we came upon the decision to leave her behind for the school year. This was not an easy choice and is still something that tugs at our heart strings every single day. (She moves to home to Tulsa May 17th! Can't wait!)
On August 14th, 2010, with great friends and the company of my sister and step dad, we pulled out of our driveway and headed for Tulsa. I went to tell mom and Chloe goodbye and my heart sank and eyes filled with tears. Even though I felt like I was following God's calling, I still questioned if I were making the right choice. Onward. Only time would tell.
We made it to Tulsa safely and while we were playing the car game, my sister Robyn came and climbed in my van while sitting in front of my new home, she broke down in tears and just kept saying I can't believe this is real. I can't believe you are really leaving home. What are Shannon and I going to do with you so far away.....
On September 14, 2010, God took my brother home. It was his time. 1 month to the day that we had moved. 1 month and 1 day since I had seen my brother for the very last time. I got the call and didn't know if I should believe it or not. It couldn't be true. NO WAY! NO HOW! Sadly, it was. as we laid Shannon to rest I prayed to God asking him why now. Why did this happen. But then the answer I received, was not the answer I had expected. Chloe stayed behind with my mom and dad for strength and support so they would have young motivation to keep them uplifted during such a tragic time. I made the sudden rapid choice to move to Tulsa when I did because our Heavenly Father knew that with such an event, Will did not need to be alone. In my brothers death, I found peace. Peace of mind that all the choices and 17 longs months of struggle, we were all right where we needed to be.
My depression from the sudden loss had really set in. I needed to find a way to get up and get moving. I was in a place that I didn't know and soul besides my family and I didn't see a light at the end of the tunnel. I decided to solve this with searching for a job. I have not worked outside of our home for over 7 years. I must have been crazy submitting a pretty much blank resume, but I did it anyways. The first job I called on landed me an interview at 9am the following day. By 9:30am I was blessed with a job. 2 months later I was promoted. But even more so then that, I gained friends, strength and more faith in God then I had ever once hoped for. I love my job so much. It provides me with a schedule that works with Wills and provides fun money for our family. I learned how tired Will must be though because my hours about kill me, but then I think about how for the last 9 months will had been at work/ school for 18 hours a day. He really inspired me to pick up and push on. He always has.
On April 21st, 2011; Will completed his college education. Sleepless nights, stressful homework, elegant events, amazing works of art- My husband is now an Executive Pastry Chef. Chef McCauley, non the less- You are my hero. 746 days ago, our life was normal and quaint in Goessel, Kansas. We never wanted anything more then what we had in that very moment. Now, we live in Oklahoma and have an even more beautiful life then we could have ever imagined. It took us getting over our fear and taking risks, but you did it. We all did it.
On June 23rd, our children will watch their Daddy graduate from college. But that's not the lesson I want them to learn here. Yes education is good, but without courage and the ability to take risks, fear and being content can hold us back more then anything. I want our children to expand their view of the world and understand that life does not contain 500 people in a 1 horse town. It has so much more to offer. I don't ever want them to think that it is what it is and leave it at that.
My husband is my hero. What he did to support our family is something that not everyone is willing to do. He sacrificed himself to save us. I love him so much and I fall back in love with him over and over again every single morning I wake up next to him.
-Imagine if you had to sleep alone for 17 months away from the one you love because the economy forced your family to make a choice you never once dreamed of.
-Could you do it?
-Where would it take you?
Thank you for reading this. I apologize, I did not proof read it even though I wrote a book. My children require my attention now.
Take care until next time,
Deb
